Marriage Counselor: "This Vacation Plan That Could End in Tears!"

A marriage counselor from Chicago warns that one popular summer vacation trend might unravel more than just a suitcase. 🌐 #News #ChicagoIL #Illinois #Lifestyle

CHICAGO, IL — Summer beckons with promises of sun-soaked beaches, mountain retreats, or bustling city adventures. For couples, it’s often the season to plan a getaway that rekindles romance or strengthens bonds strained by the daily grind. But according to Illinois-based marriage counselor Angela Hartwell, one vacation trend is quietly setting the stage for conflict rather than connection: the over-scheduled, high-expectation itinerary.

Dr. Hartwell, with over 15 years of experience helping couples navigate rocky relationships, has noticed a recurring theme in her sessions come September. “Couples return from summer vacations not refreshed, but exhausted and resentful,” she says. The culprit? A meticulously planned trip that leaves no room for spontaneity—or compromise.

When Plans Clash with Reality

The trouble begins, Dr. Hartwell explains, when one partner takes the reins and crafts a minute-by-minute schedule. Picture this: a 7 a.m. sunrise hike, a 9 a.m. breakfast at a trendy café, a noon museum tour, and a 6 p.m. dinner reservation—all booked weeks in advance. While one spouse might thrive on this structure, the other might crave a lazy morning or an impromptu detour. “What starts as a shared vacation becomes a battleground for control,” she notes.

Take Olivia and Mark, a couple Dr. Hartwell counseled last fall. Olivia spent months designing their Italian getaway, complete with guided tours and Michelin-starred restaurants. Mark, however, longed to wander cobblestone streets or linger at a gelato stand. “By day three, they weren’t speaking,” Dr. Hartwell recalls. “Olivia felt unappreciated, and Mark felt suffocated.”

The Hidden Cost of High Expectations

It’s not just the schedule that’s to blame—it’s the pressure to make the trip “perfect.” Social media amplifies this, with couples feeling compelled to capture Instagram-worthy moments at every turn. Dr. Hartwell warns that this obsession can turn a vacation into a performance. “When the focus shifts from enjoying each other to curating an image, disappointment festers,” she says.

Financial strain adds another layer. A survey by the American Psychological Association found that money is a top stressor for 64% of couples. An extravagant summer plan—think luxury resorts or cross-country flights—can ignite arguments if one partner feels the budget’s been blown. “I’ve seen couples who spent their savings on a ‘dream trip’ only to fight over every penny spent,” Dr. Hartwell shares.

A Better Way to Vacation Together

So, how can couples avoid this tearful trap? Dr. Hartwell offers a simple fix: balance structure with flexibility. “Plan a few key activities, but leave gaps for rest or spur-of-the-moment choices,” she advises. She also urges couples to talk openly before booking anything. “Ask each other: What does a great vacation look like to you? Then build from there.”

For Olivia and Mark, this meant a do-over trip to a nearby lake town. They agreed on one guided boat tour but left the rest unplanned. “They came back laughing about a random roadside diner they found,” Dr. Hartwell says. “It wasn’t glamorous, but it was theirs.”

The Takeaway: Less Planning, More Presence

Summer vacations should be a chance to reconnect, not a recipe for regret. Dr. Hartwell’s advice boils down to this: ditch the rigid playbook and embrace the messiness of being together. “A vacation isn’t about checking boxes—it’s about sharing moments,” she concludes. “If you’re crying by the end, let it be from laughing too hard, not from fighting.”

Couples who heed this wisdom might just return with stronger ties—and stories worth telling. Have any tips or tricks of your own? Help others—share them in the comments!

As a thank you for reading this article, enjoy 25% off our new Feel Good Stories eBook. Do you have an uplifting story or fascinating news tip? Email us! news@jackandkitty.com.

RELATED TOPICS: Illinois | Lifestyle | Travel