Confessions And SHOCKING SECRETS From A Minneapolis Pizza Delivery Guy!
Discover the shocking secrets your pizza delivery guy wishes you knew – straight from a Minneapolis man’s wild experiences on the job! 🍕 #News #Minneapolis #PizzaConfessions
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Meet Ben Abrams, your friendly pizza delivery guy from Minneapolis, Minnesota. For the past ten years, he’s been delivering cheesy goodness to your doorstep. Now, he’s ready to reveal the shocking secrets behind the job. Get ready for a wild ride! Take it away, Ben…
It’s a Pizza, Not a Proposal
Hey, folks! When you call to order, have your toppings ready. My other line is ringing, and I don’t have time for your indecision. I’m delivering pizzas, not waiting for you to decide between mushrooms or pepperoni.
Not an Adult Movie Fantasy
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m just here to deliver your pizza. Don’t act out your adult movie fantasies when I show up at your door. Keep it classy, folks!
Put Some Clothes On
Related to my last confession: I’ve seen it all, but I’d rather not. Please wear a shirt—and pants—when you open the door. It’s not too much to ask.
Dangerous Deliveries
Some neighborhoods are no-go zones. A kid with a pizza and cash is an easy target. I signed up to deliver pizza, not to dodge muggers. Some places are just too risky.
Kids and Their Pranks
I can spot a prank call from a mile away. Kids, your fake voices and unblocked numbers aren’t fooling anyone. Think you’re clever? Think again.
RELATED: Transforming Frozen Pizza: This Ingenious Trick Will Elevate Your Pizza To Gourmet!
Patience, People!
Even if you’re ordering from the best pizzeria in town, it takes about 20 minutes to bake your pizza. Then, I have to brave traffic to get it to you. Patience isn’t just a virtue; it’s a necessity.
Show Some Respect
Seeing me drenched and shivering in the rain? Don’t close the door in my face while you dig for change in your couch. A little kindness goes a long way.
Pizza Mishaps
If I drop your pizza, I might shake the box to get the cheese back in place. Oops! What you don’t know won’t hurt you, right?
Phone Etiquette
Hang up your phone when you answer the door. It’s basic manners, folks. I’m not a fan of being ignored while you chat away.
Tipping Matters
Tips should be 10-15% of your order. If you order a ton of pizza and tip just a dollar, I’m going to be pretty upset. Don’t be cheap.
Memory of an Elephant
I remember the bad tippers. I won’t risk my job, but shaking your soda isn’t off the table. Karma, baby.
RELATED: Tipflation Nation: Are We Being Guilt-Tripped Into Tipping Everywhere?
Don’t Keep Me Waiting
I knock three times and call twice. If you don’t answer, you’re out of luck. Don’t complain later.
Odd Jobs
Once, a guy ordered pizza just to get help moving a sofa. I agreed, got a nice tip, and it was cheaper than hiring movers. Talk about weird requests!
Clear Directions
Giving your address is just step one. Make sure your house or mailbox number is visible. I’m not a mind reader.
RELATED: Slice And Spice: 115+ Ultimate Pizza Captions For Instagram
Surprising Generosity
The best tips often come from middle- and lower-class areas. Wealthy neighborhoods? Not so much. The rich can be stingy.
Teen Drivers
Most drivers, like me, started young. It’s unfair to expect us to brave blizzards when you wouldn’t let your own kids do it. Double standards much?
RELATED: The Pizza Ranch Pilgrimage: Midwest Man’s Cheesy Quest To Visit Every Pizza Ranch
Sweet Old Ladies
I can’t refuse a $5 check from a sweet grandma. If she’s a regular, I’ll take it. If not, sorry, no dice. Gotta follow the rules.
Short and Sweet
I pretend to enjoy chatting at your door, but I really just want to get to the next delivery. Time is money, people.
Long Hours
Drivers work 12-14 hours a day. Don’t call at closing time and complain about slow service. We’re exhausted.
Personal Cars, Personal Risks
I use my own car for deliveries. Accidents happen, and dealing with repairs is a pain. Spare a thought for our vehicles.
RELATED: The Pizza Hut Museum In Kansas: A Tasty Journey Into A Humble Start
Friendly but Firm
I’m a nice guy, but I won’t tolerate rudeness. I know how to stand my ground. Don’t mess with me.
Can’t Pick and Choose
I deliver to everyone, no matter how difficult. It’s part of the job. Some customers are a nightmare.
Be Ready
Don’t jump in the shower after ordering pizza. I don’t have time to wait. Be prepared when I arrive.
RELATED: 10+ Totally Cheesy Jokes About Pizza – Clean Jokes for the Whole Family
Walk Over
If you live across the street, pick up your pizza. Don’t be lazy. Seriously, it’s just a few steps.
Pizza Overload
After years on the job, I’m over pizza. It’ll be a while before I can enjoy it again. Too much of a good thing.
Chatting for Tips
Some customers chat to make up for not tipping. I see right through it. Just tip fairly.
Ready Cash
You know the cost when you order. Have your money and tip ready when I arrive. It’s not rocket science.
RELATED: Yelp Elites Crowned This Chicago Restaurant Best Pizza in the US!
No Discounts
I can’t give discounts. I’m just the delivery guy, not the manager. Don’t ask for what I can’t provide.
Not All Cheesy Goodness
There you have it, folks! The life of a pizza delivery guy isn’t all cheesy goodness. Next time you order, remember these confessions and help make deliveries a little easier. Oh, and remember – put on some pants!
RELATED: Where Do Kids Eat Free? These Family-Friendly Restaurants Won’t Break The Bank!
Sign Up for Our Newsletter
We value your feedback! Did you find this article informative, inspiring, or thought-provoking? Leave a comment below and join the discussion. We appreciate your opinion and look forward to hearing from you!
