A frazzled Indiana mom’s desperate plea about bedtime battles sparks practical solutions for weary parents everywhere.

Frazzled Indiana Mom Frantically Asks: “Why Am I Doing EVERYTHING Wrong?!”

A frazzled Indiana mom’s desperate plea about bedtime battles sparks practical solutions for weary parents everywhere. 🌐 #News #IndianapolisIN #Indiana #Parenting

INDIANAPOLIS, IN — Susie Harper, a mom from Indianapolis, Indiana recently sent our offices an email. The subject line certainly caught our attention: “Why Am I Doing EVERYTHING Wrong?!” We had to chuckle because we all feel that way sometimes, we get it: parenting is hard. In reading Susie’s email however, we’re pretty confident she’s not doing everything wrong. Far from it. She is having some problems putting her two year old to sleep at night. Let’s explore some tips and tricks how to get little oines to bed…

What Did Susie Say?

Here’s the email Susie sent to our team:

Subject: Why Am I Doing EVERYTHING Wrong?!
Hi there,
I’m at my wit’s end and hoping you can help. My two-year-old, Liam, refuses to go to sleep at night. Every bedtime is a battle—crying, tantrums, getting out of bed over and over. I’ve tried everything I can think of: stories, songs, a nightlight, even bribery with extra cookies (I know, I know, not my proudest moment). Nothing works, and I’m exhausted. I feel like I’m failing as a mom. Why can’t I get this right? Please help!
—Susie Harper, Indianapolis

Susie, we hear you, and you’re definitely not alone. Bedtime struggles with toddlers are incredibly common, and they don’t mean you’re doing “everything wrong.” Two-year-olds are at a stage where they’re testing boundaries, asserting independence, and navigating big emotions—all while their little bodies still need plenty of rest. Let’s dive into some practical, research-backed tips and tricks to help Liam (and you!) get a better night’s sleep.

Why Is Bedtime So Hard for Toddlers?

Before we get to the solutions, it’s helpful to understand why bedtime can feel like a nightly showdown. At two years old, children are developing rapidly. They’re learning to express themselves, but they don’t yet have the emotional regulation or verbal skills to handle frustration or tiredness gracefully. Plus, their growing sense of independence means they might resist bedtime simply because it’s your idea, not theirs.

Other common factors that can disrupt toddler sleep include:

  • Overstimulation: Too much screen time, exciting play, or a chaotic evening can make it hard for toddlers to wind down.
  • Inconsistent routines: Toddlers thrive on predictability, and irregular bedtimes or routines can throw them off.
  • Separation anxiety: At this age, kids may feel anxious about being apart from their parents at night.
  • Sleep regressions: Around age two, some kids experience temporary disruptions in sleep patterns due to developmental leaps or changes like transitioning to a big-kid bed.

The good news? With a few adjustments, you can create a bedtime routine that helps Liam feel secure, calm, and ready to drift off. Here are our top tips to turn bedtime battles into peaceful nights.

Tip 1: Build a Consistent Bedtime Routine

A predictable routine signals to your toddler that bedtime is coming, helping their body and mind prepare for sleep. Aim for a 20- to 30-minute routine that happens at the same time every night. Here’s an example:

  • 6:30 PM: Bath time with calming lavender-scented bubbles.
  • 6:45 PM: Put on pajamas and brush teeth.
  • 6:50 PM: Read two short bedtime stories (let Liam choose one to give him some control).
  • 7:00 PM: Sing a lullaby or say a simple goodnight phrase, like, “Sleep tight, see you in the morning!”
  • 7:05 PM: Lights out, with a nightlight if needed.

Stick to the same sequence, even on weekends, to reinforce the habit. Over time, Liam will associate these steps with sleep, making bedtime less of a struggle.

Tip 2: Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment

Your toddler’s bedroom should be a calm, cozy haven. Consider these tweaks:

  • Darkness: Use blackout curtains to block out light, which can signal to Liam’s brain that it’s time to sleep.
  • White noise: A gentle hum from a white noise machine can drown out household sounds and soothe him to sleep.
  • Comfort items: A favorite stuffed animal or blanket can provide security, especially if separation anxiety is an issue.
  • Temperature: Keep the room cool (around 68-72°F) to promote comfortable sleep.

If Liam’s climbing out of bed repeatedly, it might be worth checking if his sleep setup is working. If he’s in a crib, ensure it’s safe and secure. If he’s in a toddler bed, consider a bed rail or a gate at the door to keep him safe while reinforcing that bedtime means staying in bed.

Tip 3: Wind Down Before Bed

Toddlers need time to transition from the excitement of the day to the calm of bedtime. Avoid stimulating activities like screen time or roughhousing in the hour before bed, as these can rev up Liam’s energy. Instead, try:

  • Quiet play, like puzzles or coloring.
  • A calming snack, like a banana or warm milk (avoid sugary treats or heavy meals).
  • Dimming the lights to mimic the natural evening environment.

If Liam’s still wired, a short “reset” activity like deep breathing (make it fun by pretending to blow out candles) or a gentle stretch can help him settle.

Tip 4: Address Fears and Anxiety

At two, toddlers may start developing fears of the dark, monsters, or being alone. If Liam’s crying or clinging at bedtime, he might be feeling anxious. Try these strategies:

  • Validate his feelings: Say, “I know it’s hard to say goodnight. I’m right here, and you’re safe.”
  • Use a nightlight or glow toy: A soft light can make the room less scary.
  • Check in briefly: If he calls out, reassure him with a quick, calm visit (e.g., “I’m here, time to sleep”). Avoid picking him up or staying too long, as this can turn into a habit.

Tip 5: Be Patient and Consistent

Changing bedtime habits takes time, especially with a strong-willed two-year-old. You might see progress in a few days, or it could take a couple of weeks. The key is consistency—stick to your routine, even when it’s tough. If Liam senses you’re wavering (like when you gave in with cookies—been there!), he’ll push harder.

If tantrums persist, try a gradual approach. For example, if Liam wants you to stay in the room until he falls asleep, start by sitting closer to the door each night until you’re out of the room entirely.

A Note for Susie (and All Frazzled Parents)

Susie, you’re not failing as a mom. Parenting a toddler is like trying to herd cats while riding a unicycle—it’s exhausting, and no one gets it perfect. The fact that you’re reaching out for help shows how much you care about Liam’s well-being. You’re already doing so much right by loving him, keeping him safe, and seeking solutions.

Try one or two of these tips at a time, and give yourself grace if things don’t change overnight. You’ve got this, and we’re rooting for you. If you’re still struggling after a few weeks, consider checking in with Liam’s pediatrician to rule out underlying issues like sleep apnea or dietary factors.

Let’s Hear From You!

Have you faced bedtime battles like Susie’s? What worked for your family? Share your tips in the comments below, or send us an email (hello@jackandkitty.com)—we’d love to hear your story. And Susie, keep us posted on how it goes with Liam. You’re not alone, and together, we’ll get those little ones snoozing soundly!