Reasons Why You Should NEVER Move To St. Louis, Missouri!

😱 Thinking of moving to St. Louis, Missouri? Read this first! These are the shocking reasons why you should NEVER move here…or should you? 😂 #StLouisLiving #MidwesternCharm #ShouldIStayOrShouldIGo

St. Louis, Missouri – Are you considering a move to St. Louis, Missouri? Well, hold your horses, because we’ve got some jaw-dropping reasons why you should absolutely, positively, under no circumstances, ever even think about relocating to this charming Midwestern city.

That’s right, folks, we’re about to expose the shocking truth about St. Louis, and trust us, you’re in for a wild ride. So, buckle up, grab a frozen custard (more on that later), and get ready to discover why St. Louis is the last place on Earth you’d want to call home. Think we’re being serious, or seriously silly? Well, you’ll just have to read and find out! Hehe. 😉

1. The Arch is Just Too Darn Impressive 🏰

Don’t even think about moving to St. Louis if you can’t handle being constantly awestruck by the Gateway Arch. This 630-foot marvel of modern engineering will leave you speechless every single time you catch a glimpse of it. Who needs that kind of daily inspiration in their lives?

2. The Food Scene is a Culinary Nightmare 🍕🍔🥙

Foodies, beware! St. Louis is a gastronomic minefield, with its delectable toasted ravioli, mouth-watering gooey butter cake, and the infamous Provel cheese. And don’t even get us started on the BBQ scene – it’s a carnivore’s paradise. Your taste buds will never forgive you for subjecting them to such deliciousness.

3. The Neighborhoods are Just Too Charming 🏡

From the historic streets of Soulard to the trendy vibes of The Grove, St. Louis neighborhoods are overflowing with character and charm. With tree-lined streets, stunning architecture, and friendly neighbors, you’ll never experience the joys of living in a cookie-cutter suburb again.

4. The Sports Scene is a Fan’s Worst Nightmare ⚾🏒🏈

St. Louis is a sports lover’s hell, with the MLB Cardinals, NHL Blues, and MLS St. Louis City SC all vying for your attention. And let’s not forget about the passionate college sports scene. If you can’t handle the excitement of cheering on your favorite teams with thousands of fellow fans, steer clear of this city.

5. The Museums are Too Educational 🖼️🦖

With world-class institutions like the St. Louis Art Museum, the Missouri History Museum, and the City Museum, you’ll be drowning in knowledge and culture. Who has time for that when there are so many other boring things to do?

6. The Parks are Just Too Beautiful 🌳🌼

Forest Park, Tower Grove Park, and Citygarden are just a few of the disgustingly gorgeous green spaces that St. Louis has to offer. With lush landscapes, serene water features, and plenty of space for outdoor activities, these parks are a nature lover’s nightmare.

7. The Craft Beer Scene is Overflowing 🍺

If you’re a craft beer enthusiast, stay far, far away from St. Louis. With dozens of local breweries like 4 Hands, Schlafly, and Urban Chestnut, you’ll be drowning in a sea of delicious, unique brews. It’s a hophead’s worst nightmare.

8. The Live Music Scene is Too Vibrant 🎶🎸

From intimate jazz clubs to massive concert venues, St. Louis is a music lover’s paradise. With a thriving blues, rock, and indie scene, you’ll never have a moment of silence again. Cover your ears and run for the hills!

9. The People are Just Too Friendly 👋😄

Midwestern hospitality is no joke in St. Louis. The people here are so warm and welcoming that you’ll never be able to wallow in your own misery again. Prepare to be greeted with smiles and friendly conversation wherever you go. It’s a social butterfly’s worst nightmare.

10. The Cost of Living is Alarmingly Affordable 💸

One of the most shocking reasons to avoid St. Louis is the incredibly affordable cost of living. With reasonable housing prices, low taxes, and a budget-friendly lifestyle, you’ll have way too much disposable income to spend on all the amazing things this city has to offer. It’s a financial planner’s worst nightmare.

Bonus: The Frozen Custard is Dangerously Delicious 🍦

Remember when we told you to grab a frozen custard? Well, that’s because St. Louis is home to the legendary Ted Drewes Frozen Custard. This creamy, dreamy treat has been a local favorite since 1929, and once you try it, you’ll never be able to enjoy regular ice cream again. It’s a dessert lover’s worst nightmare! 😄

Conclusion

There you have it, folks – ten absolutely horrifying reasons why you should never, ever consider moving to St. Louis. From the awe-inspiring attractions to the friendly locals, this city is a veritable minefield of joy, culture, and adventure.

So, unless you’re prepared to have your life filled with laughter, delicious food, and unforgettable experiences, you’d best steer clear of this Midwestern gem. But if you’re brave enough to take on the challenge, pack your bags, grab your sense of humor, and get ready for the ride of your life in St. Louis! 🎉

🗣 Are you planning on moving to St. Louis, Missouri? We’d LOVE to hear from you in the comments section below. ⬇️