New Year’s Resolution Jokes About Goals and Weight Loss That’ll Make You Laugh!
The new year brings big goals, fresh motivation, and let’s be honest — some faded resolutions before February hits. But instead of beating yourself up over goals and weight loss fails, why not laugh about them? This collection of clean, relatable jokes about goals, dieting, exercise, and weight loss will have you smiling through every misstep, cheat day, and gym procrastination moment. Grab a snack, scroll through some laughs, and embrace the fun side of trying to be better this year!
Jokes About Goals and Weight Loss
I achieved my goal of personal growth… verified by the scale this morning!
My resolution for this year is to be more punctual. So far, I’m running a little late on that one.
I asked my doctor for advice on setting achievable goals. He told me to take baby steps. Now I’m crawling towards success.
This year my goal is to be less condescending to people. Condescending means to talk down to someone.
Why did the bagel struggle in yoga class? It couldn’t find its center.
What do you call a bagel that has mastered yoga? A pretzel.
My resolution is to stop procrastinating, but I’ll think about it later.
My wellness routine includes napping. I call it “nap-ercise.”
I’ve been working out with weights. Every time somebody says, “let’s work out!”, I say: “wait!”
Why did the bicycle take up yoga? It wanted to find its inner wheel-being.
I set a goal to eat more fruit this year, but it’s really just a fruitless endeavor.
When I was young, I set a life goal for myself: I will buy a Lamborghini at the age of 40. This year, I’ve finally achieved half of the goal. I turned 40.
My New Year’s resolution is to be less indecisive, but I’m not sure if I’ll stick to it.
I had a goal to lose 20 Pounds by the end of the year. 30 pounds to go!
I choked on celery today. All I could think was: “I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this to me.”
I tried a new diet plan where you only eat foods that begin with the letter “S”… so far I’ve had salad, sweet potatoes, and six donuts.
My goal this year was to lose weight… but I think I misread “lose weight” as “lose my willpower around tacos.”
I told my scale we needed to talk about our relationship. It rolled its eyes and said nothing was wrong.
Laughter Is a Cure for the Resolution Blues!
Whether you hit every goal this year or found yourself eating dessert instead of exercising, laughter is one resolution that never fails. These jokes about goals and weight loss are perfect for sharing with friends, family, or anyone who’s ever said “I’ll start Monday.” Keep the humor alive, keep smiling, and remember: progress isn’t perfect — but laughter always helps. Have a joke of your own? Drop it in the comments so we can LOL together!
Need some more laughs? Check out more Family-Friendly Jokes, Dad Jokes, and Pun Jokes for laughs that everyone in the family will enjoy.
