Funny and Clean Christian Jokes for All Ages You Can Tell in Church
Spread joy and laughter in your congregation with these funny and clean Christian jokes for all ages, perfect for sharing in church! đ⨠#ChristianHumor #ChurchJokes
Winona, Minnesota – Looking for some light-hearted laughter that’s suitable for the whole congregation? Look no further! Our collection of funny and clean Christian jokes for all ages is perfect for sharing a giggle in church. From clever puns to humorous takes on biblical stories, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to everyone’s face, from the youngest members of the flock to the wisest elders.
The Best Christian Jokes
What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic.
What is a salesmanâs favorite Scripture passage? The Great Commission.
What is a missionaryâs favorite kind of car? A convertible.
What do they call pastors in Germany? German Shepherds.
Why didn’t Noah go fishing? He only had two worms.
What kind of car would Jesus drive? A Christler.
When someone needed a boat made, what did the people in town say? “We Noah guy.”
What types of boats do believers want to go on? Discipleship and worship.
Why didn’t anyone want to fight Goliath? It seemed like a giant ordeal.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn? “Crown Him With Many Crowns.”
Why couldn’t they play cards on the Ark? Noah was always standing on the deck.
What’s a miracle that can be done by a complainer? Turning anything into whine.
What type of lights did Noah have on the Ark? Floodlights.
What do you call a Bible character who just pulled into church? A parking Lot.
After having children, Adam and Eve started getting a lot of questions from their kids about why they no longer lived in Eden. Adam has a simple answer for this: âYour mother ate us out of house and home.â
What did the classmate say when asked why they kept walking next to the same person at school? “I was told I’m supposed to walk by Faith!”
What’s loved by Noah and also most meat-eaters? Ham.
What animal could Noah not trust? Cheetahs.
How do you know that atoms are Catholic? They have mass.
Why wouldnât the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go? He was in de-Nile.
Who is the patron saint of poverty? Saint Nickeless.
Why did the unemployed person get excited while reading the Bible? They thought they saw a Job.
Why did the sponge go to church? It was hole-y.
What did Adam say to Eve when handing her something to wear? “Take it or leaf it.”
Which book of the major prophets is the easiest to understand? EZekiel.
Where is the best place to get an ice cream cone? Sundae School.
How do we know Peter was a successful fisherman? By his net income.
Why is David considered the best babysitter in the Bible? He rocked Goliath to sleep.
Which king liked to do things on his own? Solomon.
What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
How do pastors like their orange juice? With pulpit.
A little girl finally got to attend a wedding for the first time. While in the church, the girl asked her mother: âWhy is the bride dressed in white?â The mother replied to the girl: âbecause white is the color of happiness and itâs the happiest day of her life today.â After a little bit, the girl looks up at her mother and says: âBut, then why is the groom wearing black?â
How are toddlers and those who attempted to build a tower to Heaven similar? They all babble.
What did Jonah’s family say when he told them about what happened before reaching Nineveh? “Hmm, sounds fishy.”
Where was Solomon’s Temple located? On the side of his head.
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark? They were using fowl language.
How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
What did the lawyer ask when someone started talking about God’s will? “Was it notarized?”
Which nursery song would Jesus have heard the most? “Mary Had a Little Lamb.”
How long did Cain dislike his brother? As long as he was Abel.
What did Adam say when he was asked his favorite holiday? “It’s Christmas, Eve.”
What do donkeys send out around Christmastime? Mule-tide greetings.
Shortly after tying the knot, a young married couple started arguing over who should make the coffee. Being a good Christian woman, the wife went to the scriptures for her answer. She said that the Bible specifically stated that men should be the ones to make the coffee. Puzzled, the husband asked her where in the Bible it said that. Very confidently, the wife opened up her Bible and said: âItâs right hereâHEBREWS.â
What is a mathematician’s favorite book of the Bible? Numbers.
Why is Moses considered the biggest rebel in the Bible? He broke all Ten Commandments at once.
Why did Boaz hate lying? Because he loved truth.
What is the best way to study the Bible? You Luke into it.
Why is Adam considered the fastest person in the Bible? He came first in the human race.
Why did Adam and Eve do math every day? They were told to be fruitful and multiply.
Why is Swiss considered the most religious type of cheese? It’s hole-y.
What was Moses’ wife, Zipphora, known as when she’d throw dinner parties? “The hostess with the Moses.”
What did Moses say when he saw people worshipping the golden calf? Holy cow!
Which Bible character was the best musician? Samsonâhe brought the house down.
What did Daniel tell his real estate agent? “I’d prefer a house with no den.”
Which minor prophet is well-known thanks to cookies? Famous Amos.
What time of day was Adam created? A little before Eve.
What did pirates call Noah’s boat? “The arrrrrrk.”
What did God do to cure Moses’ headache? He gave him two tablets.
Who in the Bible knew the most people? Abraham knew a Lot.
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah? He didn’t want to split hairs.
Conclusion: Laughter Is A Gift From God
We hope you enjoyed our selection of funny and clean Christian jokes that are perfect for any church gathering. Laughter is a gift from God, and sharing a joke can be a wonderful way to spread joy and bring people together.
So, the next time you’re in church, don’t be afraid to share a giggle or two with your fellow worshippers. After all, a merry heart does good like medicine!
đŁ Which Christian joke was your favorite? Have any funnies you’d like to share? Spread the joy in the comments section below! âŹď¸
