Seriously Funny Jokes: The Best Of The Best Jokes – To Make You LOL!
😂 Get ready to LOL with “Seriously Funny Jokes: The Best of the Best,” a must-read blog post featuring the internet’s most hilarious jokes. 🤣 #seriouslyfunnyjokes #jokes #humor
Winona, Minnesota – Welcome to “Seriously Funny Jokes: The Best of the Best,” a hilarious collection of the most side-splitting, gut-busting jokes that the internet has to offer. We’ve scoured the web to bring you the cream of the crop, the jokes that are so clever, so well-crafted, and so downright funny that you won’t be able to resist sharing them with everyone you know. Get ready to laugh out loud and discover the power of seriously funny humor.
The BEST Seriously Funny Jokes
What do you call a crocodile wearing a vest? An investigator.
I ate a sock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey.
A termite walks into a bar and says, “So, is the bar tender here?”
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I’m dressing.
Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
Why should you avoid artists? They tend to be sketchy.
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
Why shouldn’t you marry a calendar? Its days are numbered.
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They’re his watch dogs.
What did the Dalmatian say after dinner? “Woof, that hit the spot!”
What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch cold.
A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie was everywhere.
What kind of bug tells time? A clock roach.
What did one beer say to the other? It’s ale good.
What do you say to an award-winning cheese? “Gouda job!”
What do you call people who sleep in their socks? Tiny.
How does an octopus go into battle? Well-armed.
How do you open a banana? With a mon-key.
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken.
What did one hat say to the other? You wait here, I’ll go on ahead.
Where do young trees go to learn? Elementree school.
Are all math puns bad? No, just sum.
What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? Bison.
I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
I got rid of my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
Why was the broom late for school? It over-swept.
I’m not a fan of spring cleaning. Let’s be honest, I’m not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either.
Did you hear about the polite clown? It was a nice jester.
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a-salted.
How much do dead batteries cost? There should be no charge.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
I wanted to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
I’d tell you a pizza joke, but it’s probably too cheesy.
What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don’t peel.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
What did the snail who was riding on the turtle’s back say? Wheeeee!
How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
What’s the best smelling insect? A deodor-ant.
What’s black and white and goes round and round? A penguin in the washing machine.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie? “Alpaca-lypse Now.”
Why did the belt get arrested? It held up a pair of pants.
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear.
Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
What’s the stinkiest planet? Poopiter.
What did the dirt say to the rain? If you keep this up, my name will be mud!
I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.
What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse.
Why don’t sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
What falls, but never needs a bandage? The rain.
What kind of candy do astronauts like? Mars bars.
Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
How do you hire a horse? Put it on a ladder.
I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
What kind of witch goes to the beach? A sandwich.
How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? Totally shocked.
What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? A cocker-poodle boo.
What do you call a pencil with two erasers? Pointless.
Why did the cow jump over the moon? The farmer had cold hands.
I was going to tell you a joke about boxing but I forgot the punch line.
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A Maybe.
What’s an egg’s favorite vacation spot? New Yolk City.
What do you call coffee with a six sense? Déjà brew.
Why was the coach yelling at the vending machine? He wanted his quarter back.
How did the pig get to the hogspital? In a hambulance.
How much do you pay deer for a day’s work? A hundred bucks.
What do math books wear under their covers? Alge-bras.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What does a pig put on dry skin? Oinkment.
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
Did you hear about the kidnapping? They woke her up.
What’s the best way to host a party in space? You planet.
Where do rabbits go for breakfast? IHOP.
What’s the pirate’s favorite letter? The “C.”
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
What month is the shortest of the year? May, it only has three letters.
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.
I try not to tell dad jokes. But when I do, he thinks they’re funny.
Where does Batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7-8-9.
I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner’s on me.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One’s pretty heavy and the other’s a little lighter.
Why couldn’t the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals.
I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!
What do pigs use in the shower? Hogwash.
I’m afraid of elevators, so I take steps to avoid them.
Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he had a great fall.
Why did the sauna go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling so hot.
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown.
What’s a ninja’s favorite type of shoes? Sneakers.
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
What did the comforter say after falling off the bed? Oh, sheet!
Why did the owl quit its job? It didn’t give a hoot.
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.
My mom asked me to put the cat out. I didn’t know it was on fire.
What does a house wear? Address.
How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
Why shouldn’t you make a dinosaur mad? Because you’ll get Jurass-kicked.
Why don’t trees watch scary movies? They get petrified.
How do pigs do their homework? With a pigpen.
I wanted to take a bath. But then decided to leave it where it is.
What did the man say to his fingers? I’m counting on you.
What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards? “Dill me in!”
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Summer wasn’t bad either.
Why shouldn’t you tell a legume your secrets? They always spill the beans.
How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.
Why don’t we see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
Why did the cloud stay home from school? It was feeling under the weather.
How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.
Conclusion
We hope you’ve enjoyed this collection of seriously funny jokes and that it has brought a smile to your face and joy to your day. Laughter has the incredible ability to connect us, to lighten our moods, and to make even the toughest times a little bit easier.
So, keep these jokes in your arsenal, ready to deploy whenever you need a quick pick-me-up or want to share a laugh with friends and loved ones. Remember, life is too short not to embrace the seriously funny side of things! Need more funnies? Don’t miss: Swiftie-approved Jokes about Taylor Swift and the BEST Dad Jokes of 2024!
🗣 Which of these seriously funny jokes made you LOL? Have a clean funny of your own you’d like to share? We’d LOVE to hear from you in the comments section below. ⬇️
