Uncorked Humor: These Are The BEST Jokes About Wine, Wine Puns, And Wine Captions!
Wine a little, laugh a lot! Read now for a grape time full of wine jokes, puns, and captions that’ll have you saying ‘Pour me another!’
EDINA, MN – Get ready to raise your glass and your spirits with our barrel-aged collection of wine-related humor! Whether you’re a seasoned sommelier or just enjoy the occasional sip, these grape jokes, vine-worthy puns, and cork-popping captions are sure to leave you feeling bubbly.
So, swirl, sniff, and prepare to savor the hilarity as we uncork the best wine-themed quips that pair perfectly with any occasion.
The BEST Jokes About Wine
The first thing on my bucket list? To fill the bucket with wine.
We have an open-door policy. Show up with wine, and we’ll open the door.
I’m a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get.
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How do you decide how much wine to drink? Take it on case-by-case basis.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races? Chardon-neigh!
I’ve trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine. It’s a Bordeaux collie.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate? Port whine!
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
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He said his non-alcoholic wine was delicious. I said he had no proof.
Did you know wine doesn’t make you fat? It makes you lean – against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
I can’t wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids instead of because of them.
If you can drink away your hurt, it must have been champagne.
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Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There’s clearly room for more wine.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business? They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine? Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
I was having wine with my wife when she said ‘I love you so much, you know. I don’t know how I could ever live without you.’ I said, ‘Is that you or the wine talking?’ She said, ‘It’s me talking to the wine.’
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What’s the secret to enjoying a good bottle of wine? Open the bottle to let it breathe. If it doesn’t look like it’s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
Do librarians like white wine? No, they like theirs well red!
It’s funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible but 8 glasses of wine is a sign of a good meal.
I drank so much wine last night that when I walked across the dance floor to get another glass. I won the dance competition.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
What do you call a wine hangover? The grape depression.
The BEST Wine Puns and Wine Captions
These witty wine puns make great captions for your Instagram posts!
- Partners in wine.
- You’re the wine that I want.
- Will you accept this rosé?
- You had me at merlot.
- No wine left behind.
- Adulting makes me wine.
- On cloud wine.
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- Another glass? Wine not?
- Here for the right riesling.
- Love the wine you’re with.
- I need to re-wine my life.
- Stop and smell the rosé.
- Oh, sweet child of wine.
- It’s wine o’clock.
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- When I drink wine, I make pour decisions.
- Sip happens.
- Chardonnay or should I go?
- Everything happens for a riesling, right?
- Great minds drink alike.
- You are so bottlefull to me.
- I make pour decisions.
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Wine Inspired Wit
We hope this collection of wine-inspired wit has left you feeling merry and bright. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, but a good glass of wine comes in a close second!
So, the next time you’re enjoying your favorite vintage, don’t forget to share these jokes with friends and family. After all, wine not spread the joy? Cheers to good humor, great wine, and even better company!
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