Rev Up Your Laughs With These Hilarious Jokes About Cars!

Laugh out loud with the funniest car jokes around! These witty quips will have your engines roaring with laughter. 🚙😂 #CarJokes #Humor #Jokes

OAKDALE, MN – Get ready to hit the humor highway with our collection of side-splitting car jokes! Whether you’re a gearhead or just enjoy a good laugh, these jokes will have you speeding into a fit of giggles.

From punny punchlines to hilarious one-liners, we’ve got the best jokes that will keep your laughter tank full. Buckle up and enjoy the ride!

The BEST Jokes About Cars

I stopped to pick up a hitchhiker. Turns out he was just telling me he approved of my driving.

What’s the best pickup line? Wanna hang out in my bed?

My relationship with my chauffeur just isn’t going anywhere. It feels like he’s always trying to drive me away.

When I wrecked my last car, I solved the mystery of whether or not a Mercedes bends.

What’s a movie they could never make about a Lamborghini? Silence of the Lambos.

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now.

What do you do with old German cars? You take ‘em to the old Volk’s home.

How did you stop your teen from texting and driving? I bought him a Ford Focus.

Why do chicken coops have only two doors? If they had four, they would be chicken sedans.

What kind of cars do cooks drive? Chef-rolets.

Who can drive all their customers away and still make money? Taxi drivers.

What’s the difference between BMWs and porcupines? Porcupines carry their pricks on the outside.

Why did the man remove the wheels from his car before a road trip? He wanted it to drive tirelessly.

Why can’t motorcycles do planks? Because they’re always two-tired.

Why was the car always tired? It never took any brakes.

What is the best vehicle to drive on May 5th? A Ford Fiesta.

When you get hit by a guitar truck, is it a fender-bender?

What did the tornado say to the sports car? Want to go for a spin.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together? Carpet.

What is Yoda’s favorite vehicle? A Toy-yoda.

What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S? Automobile.

Where do dogs park their cars? In the barking lot.

My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.

Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck? He wanted to bust a move.

What part of the car is the laziest? The wheels, because they are always tired.

What do you get when you cross a Mustang and an elephant? A convertible with a big trunk.

What do you say to a frog who needs a ride? Hop in.

Why do pistons make such bad employees? They only work after they are fired.

What do you need to be able to drive in the outback? You need to show koala-fications.

If a car’s chasing you, you’ll definitely get tired. But if you chase cars, you’ll get exhausted.

Why couldn’t the frog find where he parked his car? He’d been toad.

What’s a car’s favorite meal? Brake-fast.

What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.

Why can’t motorcycles hold themselves up? Because they are two-tired.

Why does it cost so much to put air in a tire? Inflation.

A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, I’m fine to serve you but you better not start anything.

Why are pigs bad drivers? They hog the road!

What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

What did the car say to the stoplight? You’ve changed, man!

I was really stoked about buying one of those new electric cars. But when I got to the dealership the prices were just too shocking!

What did you do with all those old car batteries? I gave them away, free of charge.

What snakes are found on cars? Windshield vipers.

How is a golf ball different from a Chevy 350? I can drive a golf ball 300 yards.

What do you call a Norwegian prostitute? A Fjord Escort.

When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway.

My wife asked me if I could go wash the car with our son. I told her a hose would probably be more efficient.

My sweetheart is always taking health food crazes too far. Now, it’s even affecting my driving. She took the carb-orator off my car!

What kind of vehicle does an egg drive? A Yolks-wagen.

What’s a Tesla’s favorite dance move? The electric slide.

What kind of petrol does Vin use? Diesel.

My wife gave birth to our son in the car on our way to the hospital. We named him Carson.

What kind of car does a snake drive? An Ana-Honda.

What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas? A Ford Siesta.

Two Cadillac drivers got in a fender-bender, got out of their cars, and then started yelling at each other. Within a few seconds, they were in a fistfight. I guess you could say things Escaladed quickly.

Two old people sit on the porch, chatting. The first guy says, “I hear up in the Seattle it rains cats and dogs!” “Oh!” the second guy answers. “That doesn’t sound so bad. I hear in New York City it’s hailing taxis!”

Why are standards so reliable? They always come in clutch.

I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.

What kind of car does a dog hate? CorVETS.

Why should you always carry peanut butter in your car? In case there’s a traffic jam.

Why does it always get dark when Bob goes by? He drives an Eclipse.

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

Keep These Jokes in Your Glove Compartment!

As you drive off into the sunset, remember to keep these jokes in your glove compartment for a quick laugh anytime. They’re sure to turn any frown upside down and keep your spirits high on the open road. Safe travels and happy laughing!